Monday, March 30, 2009

Is a Fairy Tale LIfe a possiblity?

Do you believe in a Fairy Tale Life? I do. I think it is the same as believing in Santa Claus or in The Tooth Fairy. Yes we know that it’s not “true” all of the time but why can’t we make it the most enjoyable and magical we can make it. We had a conversation at work that made me think of it. A co-workers sister’s estranged husband is making overtures of coming back. My co-worker wants to give her option of how life is not a fairy tale and she shouldn’t believe him and should tell him that. For this lady – she was a late bloomer in the relationship department and still believes in the sweetness of love. I think it should be encouraged. Yes there is the chance that she might be hurt but can you look at everything with such a negative slant and automatically turn your head just because you view life and people in such a negative light? So I told my co-worker be supportive of your sister. Yes give your opinion but let her figure it out. I have been through a bad relationship myself, my family was pushed away, I was used and it took a while to come out it emotionally but it has not tarnished my belief of fairy tales.
I then took a small survey of my coworkers. Did they believe in a fairy tale life? None of them did. In fact they got a bit nasty about it. They said relationships take work. They are not always pretty. I swear they think I am naive about life and don’t know about the hardships of life. But then I look at their lives. They always have so much drama, so much anger. I don’t see any excitement for things, any passion.

I wrote the above two paragraphs last week when I was in a “mood”. Lol. I was even arguing with a good friend about it and I don’t argue. Lol. On this Monday morning I still believe that your life can be a fairy tale. I thought about it a lot this weekend. I decided its how you look at life.
This weekend when I was clicking around the blogs I read I found evidence that other people do think like me. It was refreshing to know I am not alone. I am sure everyone has their own set of drama and problems they face but so many people or should I say women have said to them selves that they want find the good in things in life and enjoy them What hey want, especially in these days of economic uncertainty are the small pleasures that make their life more enjoyable. I think for some people they have always had this attitude but I think a big shift came around 9/11 and even more now.
For myself the small pleasures, was going to a quilt show and enjoying the quilt show of a woman from the guild. Sitting there watching her set up and get her notes ready – I was thrilled for her. What an honor. Due to some weird sleeping patterns this weekend (that’s another post lol ) I awoke at 4 on Sunday morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. I gave in and got up at 5. I ended up taking the time to do my taxes. Afterwards I crawled back into my nice soft bed and the windows opened just a bit to let in the cold morning air and snuggled in for a couple hours of sleep. That was bliss lying on the cloud of bedding with my quilts on top of me no deadlines, all my goals done for the day and I could do almost anything I wanted.
So to me life is full a bliss and there is nothing wrong with trying to live a fairy tale. I even say that sometime my prince will come on a white horse and sweep me away to a wonderful life.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

A Wonderful Spring Sunday

Hello There,
It's Sunday. Spring term begins tommorow. My last term. Yah! I wish I had another week to feel beter.
I saw the photos from my brother's wedding. I need to go the gym. I need to lose weight. I was going to start today but my sleep schedule is screwed up and my head is heavy with cold. . I want to lose weight. I want to look good for graduation and I want to look good for New York. I have a cool dress I want to wear. I wonder if i would have looked better than I did. ONe thing is that my mom made me wear an outfit that in looking at the photo wasn't very nice. Even today my jeans are very tight. I have to give up that chocolate. Drink water.
Walk that extra distance from the car.
I will do it. I have it here as proof.
I want to ride my bike around town. I want to go on walks with Patrick and the kids. I don't want to collapse at any exercise. I need to make a plan. I have the exercise program laid out in a book. I know what i have to do. I don't use school as an excuse but it feels like i don't have the time to devote to it. This term. Three nights a week I leave at 7:30 and don't get home till 10. I leave work early and I have to make up the time. It's hard when when I get so tired. Plus i have the homework.
I know I will be so lost in July. What am I going to do with out the goal of school in front of me? I will have to make up another one. In some ways I can't wait but others the emptyness of it not being there will be a great loss.
I will focus on my creativity. That's what i will do. Look to see if i can get a new job that uses more of my schools.
Hope everyone has a wonderful last week of March. How will it go out?
WE will have to see.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009



Sunday, March 15, 2009

Pleasure to my eye - Part 3

Another wonderful artist is Kate Greenway. There is something about her that I love. I could imagine myself in the world she draws.

Pleasure to my eye - Part 2

Another woman's drawing I love is Tasha Tudor. I love her work. I love her corgis. I think i first found her Christmas book and then I read about her in Victoria. Here are two of her works.

Pleasure to my eye - Part 1

I don't remember when i was introduced to Carl Larsson (1853-1919) but i have loved his work ever sense. I can remember pouring over the book i got at the library. Alicia at Posy Get's Cosy does a wonderful job at showing you his excellent artwork.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

The story....

I stumbled on a blog on where a woman lost her husband. She was contacted by the hospital at 1:30 in the afternoon after he collapsed at the Gym at 8:30. It hit a cord and I left her a comment on how I so related to her. Grieving is an interesting thing. I had to put it on hold last year while I handled a family reunion.

Then life quieted down in Aug and I feel apart watching the movie “The Bucket List”. I don’t know why but I grieved more that night then I had the previous two months. The following week was really hard and I made some decisions that helped me. I had many friends tell my I should watch the movie “PS… I Love You” as i could probably identify with it. In it the characters husband dies. I didn’t like it at all. One it was nothing like my experience and they fought all the time.

Today I found the blog. I am crying again. Why I don’t know. It’s been a day I have slept all day. The bed has been so comfy. I will probably be up all night working on the homework but even now my head is so heavy I want to go to bed again.

Here is the post I wrote to the women:

Last June i lost my boyfriend in almost the same way. He had a headache for two weeks. We thought it was a sinus headache that wouldn't go away as we had been sick a lot that spring. In looking back i know see what it really was. We talked like usual on our way to work. I said good bye when i got to the parking lot of my work. He was picking up breakfast at McDonald's and we had just laughed about his lack of money.
At 9:30 i checked my phone and had a text message that he went to the doctors at 8:30. I tried calling him thinking it would be over. He didn't answer. I tried his home, his phone and work over the next few hours. I never could get a hold of him. I even wrote one of his coworkers and i never heard back. I went to lunch at 12:30 with a friend. When I got back I had a voice-mail on my work phone. It started out as a woman saying she was a friend of my boyfriend and could I call her. I knew then he was gone. I was in shock. I called her back and she confirmed it. He had collapsed at the Drs office. The tried for 20 minutes to relieve him but it didn’t help. The office didn’t know who to contact and he ended up at the medical examiners office. The Doctor's office had to call his company in Seattle who then called his coworkers in Portland. Since he was not married the ME was required to notify his mother. I was lucky his friend in the Seattle office called me directly other wise I don’t know who I would have found out.

He and I had lonely been dating 7 months but we knew we were soul mates and we were going to be married.
I loved him very much and I was included in the plans of his funeral but I made no decisions. The service they held was defiantly more for them then for the celebration of his life. They were not religious. I am catholic and it brought sorrow to my heart that they had to really grasp to find a religious figure to talk about him. In fact I don’t think my boyfriend knew him at all and the gentleman that spoke did not know my boyfriend.

That is what I wrote. I ended it with I will pray for you.
A little bit more that I want to write out but didn’t feel was needed on the comment.

In the end his mother and sister did not want my help after the first day and I didn’t even help clean out his apartment. In some ways I am glad for that and in other ways I am hurt by it. It’s hard being the girlfriend and not the wife. But I knew in my heart what happened didn’t matter that the time with Jim was what was special. He has now been gone longer then I knew him but the hurt is still there. I knew and continue to know that he was a very special man and that I was very privileged to be loved by him. I will always love him and he will always be part of my heart. He changed me for the better and I am reminded of that with a smile many times a week.

I will love again, and I think I have found someone that I will marry but Jim will always be special. I am so glad my new man understands that relationship. I love you Jim.


My homework......

Check this out. It's my homework for one of my classes. I am trying out the trackback. Another new thing to learn. It's so much fun!

is this going to work? tonight it didn't.. but if that doesnt work then try this.

one of them will work.


Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Tuesday another day...

I feel so much better today. My cold is gone. The cloud came back this weekend but i just think i was burnt out. A day of laying in bed and dozing through the new version of Sense and Sensibility on OPB was the perfect Sunday.
I started this blog to write about my quilting and to show off my projects. I haven't even written anything about it but it's never far from my heart.. Well i have plans.. After this term i plan to start one of my projects. I need it. I dream about quilting. I will have so much fun picking one out. I also plan to actually finish one and start using it. Perhaps i will make a baby quilt. We will see. I am so excited.
Well it's midnight. Off to bed.
Life is good.

PS. One more thing. My friend's divorce was sealed and final today. What a wonderful burden that has been removed. The family can now move on and start to live dynamically again and just not sit stagnant waiting for it to be done with. Now they can heal. It will be wonderful to watch the kids blossom. It should be a fun summer.

PPS it was a wonderful day out today. The sun was shining and it put a smile on my face. Between that and a good book on CD "Savannah Breeze" it was nice sitting in the car at lunch.