Showing posts with label me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label me. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

How do you spend your dash?

The Dash
 By Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning…to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth
And now only those who love her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile…
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So when your eulogy is read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Walking.. or maybe running???????

I think i have talked about how since I graduated and losing my job I have really had no big goals. I am lost. I talked with my hair dresser on Sat. She runs marathons. I was telling her thaI had been talking to someone how I wish that I had the discipline to train a marathon. I said I didn't want to run.. lol... but i wish I had the self control and the single mindedness. She jumped on it and said I should train for one. I said "Hold On!".. I said i might walk but I am not a runner. But maybe I could train to walk one and maybe 5 miles. lol. She said we get together in January and put together a plan for me. The idea is growing on me. I did have a goal in 2008 to walk one but life was just to busy and too many things happened. It's growing and growing. I am seriously thinking of it. A glimmer to hold on to. Even going through the emotional upheaval this weekend this little nugget kept popping up. I am 90% admitting to myself that I want to go for it. What do you think?




A rollercoster of emotions......


Having one of those weekends.
 My temp job ended on Friday night. It ended over a month early.  I knew in my mind the end was coming for the temp job but when it actually happened I am surprised on my response. I didn't even react this emotionally in June when I got laid off from my real job. Part of it was probably a delayed response to that one. I still have friends who are still temping in the job  and all I could was think of  what I did wrong... but in my heart I know it was done for business reasons and low call volume.  Sat I just felt empty. I remember laying on my bed and just staring at my dresser just not thinking of anything. Life seemed so empty. I just laid there and then vegged all evening. As I said before I felt lost and this just hit me hard. I couldn't sleep very well last night either. I kept waking up. Today I though I was better but today it came out as sadness.

I talked to my mom about my situation and she gave me some advice. This advice made me think.. what do I want? I still don't know.. I don't even know if I want to go after what we talked about because that might be settling and I want to choose what I do for a job this time (or choose the best I can). It was good advice but I can't decide if it's good for me.

I came into my room and I just started to cry. I called my boyfriend and he just listened. We eventually were able to just talk and I was laughing..a good thing.. and then I found myself crying again. During it.. I came to realize it was just a reaction in releasing emotions. I needed to let the emptiness pour out. When I got done talking with him I felt lighter. For all the doubts when we are apart .. the frustrations that happen on my end to the status of it. ... his concern and scared to hurt the kids on his end.... he can heal me. He supports and cares. I love that about him. I should tell him that more often. Just hearing his voice can soothe that. I never knew that about boyfriends until the last two. They have been awesome men who have given me so much. Real relationships. Real partnerships. I am been very privileged to have both men care about me so much.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

My day..

I had today off. In fact I was home alone all day. It was nice. I was going to work on a Christmas present but decided not to. I ended up watching 2 movies and Top Chef finale. All that time I worked on my needlepoint. I got a lot done on it. I have a delima. The pattern that is on the canvas is not straight. So I started on the right side top of the pillow and I am going by that. The 4 corners are 9 stitch blocks of green and white. I made sure all of the squares were 9's. When I did the first border I found that the color moved off of the x point and went up one hole. I decided to keep stitching a straight line even though the color changed. When I got to the green and white checks on the left side I started two lines down from where the "paint" was but it's lined up with the other side. I hope this is the right thing to do.

I am still a bit lost in my life. I don't know where i am suppose to be. I am so tired. I am tired of having to deal with problems. I am just tired. I don't know how to define myself anymore. I wish I had the gumption to stand up for what I want and not feel guilty or worry about hurting someone feelings. For twenty years I have had fake nails. Last week I removed them one day and part of me what's to keep them off. Help redefine me but then I feel guilty and didn't want to hurt my nail girl and made an appointment when she called. I don't want them really. I guess I feel envious of other peoples lives sometimes and wish my life was more like them. Well I guess not really but i just feel so lost that I just don't know what direction to go. It is so ironic because in some areas I am so happy but then in other areas I feel like I have stopped caring. I don't follow through. I just want to stop being tired. I hate the fact that as I get older, time is moving faster and faster. I have all these dreams of how i want things to be but a lot of the time I don't have the knowledge or the know how to get them. I hold myself back as I feel people have expectations for me.
Well that is enough about me tonight. Off to read my book in my cozy bed.

Saturday, January 17, 2009


Welcome to my first post in the blog world. It's a Saturday night and I was reading blogs and was inspired to join in what is such a fascinating world. So join me in this exploration of blogging on The Agnes Dorothy..

What do I want to do with this blog? I don't have that vision quite done yet but stick around and it will come together as we go day by day.


Right now my world is so busy. I work 40 hours a week an then am in my second to last term in reaching my goal of receiving a bachelor's degree. I am taking 12 hours this term and am praying that it is over quickly. I love my classes but I think I took 3 hard ones together. Where my head was at the time of registration I should have signed up for that movie class. I do not know but what else is there to do on winter nights so I decided that the classroom was the place to be. The only regretful thought I have of this journey is that it doesn't give me time to play with my fabric or anything else.
One of my passions is quilting. I learned when I was 16 from my aunt who has a wonderful touch with sewing and needlepoint. My grandmother was a seamstress and I can remember as a little girl she tried to teach me to sew. She would get so frustrated with me that I could not sew a straight line she quit teaching me. Let me tell you -- I still don't but i don't let it stop me. Above is one of my little quilts that hangs in work cube. I didn't physically quilt for many years but about 4 years ago I picked up sewing with renewed energy. I will leave the rest for many more posts.
Another passion of my mine is reading. I love to read. I find it so exciting to find new authors and new stories. One of my favorite genres is writers like Louise Alcott, L.M. Montgomery, Betsy and Tacy. I love to read stories of the time period of 1900 and especially when they were written in the first half of the 1900's. There is something so quaint about the style and the descriptions of times gone by. I will admit it I am a romantic.
That is a little bit about me. I hope to be able to continue to have many more words to write and until next time.


Dottie

Oh - let me tell you about my blog name. It is the name of my two grandmothers. The sewer and my namesake. Two wonderful women in my life. I added the french word for flower because I love flowers and thought it sounded like a nice finish to the old-fashioned names.

My latest finish in Cross Stitching 12-29-2020

  American Promenade by  Annie Beez Folk Art Fabric   18 count Adia Hand dyed by Fabrics by LJ in the Willow Tree colorway. Using all the ca...