A weekend with joy and loss.

I lost a great friend this weekend. He died early sat morning, which i will never forget the date as it was my birthday. I went over to the apartment today to spend time with his partner and we laughed how i was probably half in love with him. Which is probably true but the qualities of which i loved him were of a kind man who I had stimulating conversations with and was gentle and caring. A big teddy bear of a man. He brought so much wisdom to our friendship and to life and to so many people he touched. There has been such an outpouring of love for him and his partner regarding his sudden death it's been a wonderful thing to see.

We first met just under 12 years ago when we worked together downtown. He became fast friends with another one of my friends but then he and I found a deeper friendship that has lasted all these years. We were very much alike. Lunches spent with him and two other friends helped me find myself and become comfortable with myself that let me explore the world with out being scared. He and I had conversations about art, electronics, games, photos, computers. He could understand my excitement on finding a new author or a new quilt design even though they were not his interests he understood where i was coming from. We had many conversations where he would see a point of view from one angle and I from another angle and we both learned from them. He could get me excited about things i knew nothing about and when i left him I would wonder how he did it. I will miss him when i get a new "toy" and can't call and tell him what i got. I will miss him when i need advice on relationships. I will miss him when i go to text him good morning. I will miss spending Friday night "dates" with him at tower books and records when we were both single. I will miss the sparkle in his eye. We didn't spend much time together these last couple years.. We both were so busy... both in relationships.. but he was the kind of friend that the moment we talked the time apart just faded away.

I am too young to have had 3 of my best friends die. First Matt Matt, then Jimmy and now David. I hope is that the three of them are looking down on me ,with the other family members i have lost, and are helping guide me through this maze of a life. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face not so much out of sadness but with the knowledge that the world has lost a wonderful man and a wonderful friend whose life was cut short too soon. I love you David.

A Better Day...

Well after posting that post at the library I headed to work and had a better day then I expected. Sometimes just getting out of the house will do that. Walking in the wind( hopefully not that cold east wind) will also help. It seems like it just clears the cobwebs out. This morning I also texted a friend during break and the message got me giggling. Unfortunately she read it the wrong way and thought i was even more in the dumps then i thought and called to check up on me. I gotta remember to write lol.... after some of my statements so that they can see the teasing of the words. Her birthday is 15 days before me and i was telling her that i didn't like being left behind.. ha ha.. i meant in birthday years.. We have teased each other about our birthdays forever and last year she playfully but seriously told me to quit referring to her being older so i have really tried hard.. but today i just had to tease her .... specially since we are going to see our friend perform at Darcelle's on her birthday. It should be fun. Boy i went there 20 years ago.. I have changed so much since then.... Her and I should always do something special for our birthdays as 2 years ago we went to LA to be on "The Price Is right" Well i am going to go watch the original Grey Gardens.. Thanks for putting up with me readers... Dottie.

the funk again....

I am in a funk again. I sleep, sleep, sleep. I don't know why. My new job is not that taxing. But i am so tired in the morning. I am not being very creative either. There are many times when i could be keeping my hands busy but all i do is sit there and either watch TV/movies or cruise the Internet. I have some many creative goals and wishes in my mind but i can't get them to come out. Well off to work again. Maybe tonight will be better. I gotta figure out a goal in the mornings to get me up so that i have a couple of hours to be creative. bye bye..

What will the new year will bring?

I have been contemplating in the last few days my goals for 2010. I see so many people putting them out on the web. I am not sure what mine will be. I know I want to be happy. Even with all my ups and downs the last year I have been happy, I know that for a fact. I don't have many "set" goals.. Maybe more of wishes.

One of the things i have decided is a goal is to walk the 5 mile sponsored by Kaiser for the Portland Marathon. My hair girl is running the marathon. I am not up to that and will probably never be as I am not a runner but I do enjoy walking. I will do that. I need to go to the gym. I keep saying that but I have no reason not to. I know it will make me feel even better. It is on 10-10-10. A goal to look forward today.

I want to save money to get my own apartment. That should be a goal for 2010. Get my own place. Be a grownup and be my own women.

Find a job i am happy to do in 2010. I think that I have found a good temp job and we will see if that can help me get on with the company.

Crafts and Crafting. So many goals in that area... I want to finish my Christmas table cloth. Finish my two needlepoint projects. Work on that needlepoint Christmas project and the silhouette idea. Finish at least two quilts to the floppy stage by June and another two by the end of the year. I want to completely finish two quits. I don't care if they are "quilted" or tied.

Books. - just keep reading.

TV - watch as little as possible...

Movies.. watch as many as possible.. getting them from the library..

Have some craft parties, have some cooking parties..

Save money and pay off debt.

In total what i want to do is be the best I can be.

Christmas presents...

Aren't these cute? I had found a pattern on line and I bookmarked it. I bought the fabric, elastic and handles. I then put it away to work on when I had time. Well I never got in the mood to get my sewing machine out. Well the deadline was approaching. I didn't have my computer with me as it was at the house I was house sitting at. So I winged it. I think they turned out well. They are to hold your plastic bags from the grocery store. I made them for by brother, sister and mom. I told them to report back to me how they work. Next year I have some grand plans. I should finish up the Christmas pillow cases I bought fabric for last year, i want to make needlepoint initials for everyone and to make cameos of people. We will see how that works out.
Off to pick up a friend to watch a movie and eat leftover Christmas Eve dinner (which we celebrated on New Year's eve...) oh.. i am always forgetting to take photos.. Happy New Year..